After 20 days :)

Its been 20 days since our wedding...and i hardly had time to come online...lyf is busy sudenly :P...Now iv almost settled here in ma new place and things are a lot easier now...I was a bit afraid abt the transition in d beginin but everythn went on well at last...and i feel gud now.the one thing i noticed is dat wen i was in chennai i wasnt close to mom lik i am now...its only now i miss her and cal her often...two days back wen i hapend to meet dad...i felt so happy...i dnt rembr bein dis happy bfr for seein dad... :)
Anand was damn suportiv nd made things easy fr me...he knws hw to keep me occupied... hw to make me happy.hw to passify me... hw to deal with everbdy in my new family...and dats hw things r fr nw and im luvin it...lucky to hav anand in my life... :) :) :)

The Last Day

And finaly our courtship ends tday for d record ;) :)
Its tuesday ,the last day im left alone with my parents nd sisy :(...aftr that our home wud b packd with relatvs as d wedding formalities starts tmrw...Im not gettin any diffrnt feelin abt gettin marid 2 him in jus two days...wen i askd him he too sd he felt nthn...the one thing v had in common was that v knew v r gettin marid bt v cudnt feel anythn lik its gona happen in jus 2 more days...yestrday night wen v wr talkin v cudnt b normal...v felt lik v both r a little afraid abt r lifes changin post weddin...but its quiet normal to get dat feel bfr gettin into somethn new...and i hav to say im a littl upset abt me movin to his place :( ...jus a little...hope i dont feel too home sick... :( anyways thr r lot more to come...our weddin... aftr dat in anothr 3 days its his best frnd's sibling's weddin...aftr dat in anothr 2 days his anothr frnd's weddin... and thn v r gona come back 2 chennai and b here fr a week...and thn agan our honeymoon,etc...so we l b busy most time and hope i miss ma home in chennai less :|
For now im enjoyin d last day of our courtship... :) and i knw we r gona hav a grt tim tgthr aftr our weddin forever :)

Smiles :)

3 more days...it all starts :) and next week by now i wud b his wifey...21st march 2011...d most memorabl day of our lives...d day v met.1st may 2011...d day he gav me d "bestest" surprise ever... :) i never thot id luv anybdy so much b4...it all jus hapend so fast...nd now here v are aftr six long months of wait... :) i luv yu sweetheart...my luv for yu is d best i cud ever giv yu...thanq fr cumin into my life and showin me d meaning of my life...

Shopping ;)

Last week i had to colect his weddin suit at nungambakam...so i hapend to cros pondybazar aftr some shopin in tnagar...i havnt been there fr shopin bfr...but i must admit,iv never seen such a splendid display of road shopin ever bfr.For shoppers lik me its a real treat.I was watchin d bazar frm inside my car,so many colurs... so many types... so many designs...it jus made me think abt d designers who created al des stuffs...each piece is d "brain child"(:D) of somebdy somewere...
Since my weddin is around and im already a shopaholic...needless to say i dd plenty of shoppin fr my weddin.
Wenever i get into a store i become happy seein all dos colours and al dos fresh pieces...this not only applies for dresses...im impartial to all types of shoppin...be it household stuffs,groceries,cars,etc...
Durin colg i hardly had any money to buy stuffs cos al dat my mom nd dad gav me went for my travellin expenses(roamin in an expensiv city costs alot :P) and food(im a big foodiee too :D :D :D :D )...living in a city lik chennai urges shopaholics to spend evry single penny dats in hand...So thrs no way i cud get al dat i see and lik :( .But thrs somethnels fr peopl lik me and dat is "Window shoppin" ( ;) :D )...yes...most of d days dis is wat i do.I enter into a store nd i say to myself "Sindu ur not gona buy anythn...ur jus gona see stuff...ur jus
gona see stuff...ur jus gona see stuff..." (:D)...yea i do implement it most of d times but at times wen i cud no longer control,i buy and bring home without my mom and dad knowin(mostly ;) )...becos to thm,watevr i gt is stupid nd unwantd stuf ( :P ).
Even jus seein new fresh colourful glossy things refreshs d mind and lightens d mood...Most of d times i go shoppin jus to see wats new in d market...
It feels lucky to be in a country lik India and in a city lik Chennai where v get both western and desi touch equaly in evrythn v see and get...no wonder v Indians luv mixin and matchin stuffs ( :P )
Iv seen many peopl lik me and wonderd y does dis shoppin mania happen...even if they dont get it they jus see it...has it got anyth to do vt lyf...Mayb our whole lyf seeks constant adventure...an urge to see somthin new evry moment and mayb dis shoppin thing jus helps it and mayb unconciously v r feedin our souls dis way...mayb lyf is to find and discover smthn new...hmmmmmmmmmm...thn i conclude "Oh wat the
hell...I enjoy duin dis so let me do it :D Never mind wat others r gona think abt me,im havin a ball here shoppin ;) "

Change

Exactly 6 days for the celebrations to begin...my lyf wud be no longer the same post weddin...its headin to a drastic change...nd im preparing myself to d extent dats posible to acept it fully...Its midnight now nd my "super tired" sweetheart is fast asleep nd has given me some lone time,whch made me writ dis short stuff...
"Change" is d only word i keep thinkin d most in my mind,as my weddin day is nearing fast...iv alwas had chang b4...few of whch iv aceptd hapily nd some even left me lifeless...so all my life iv had it nd dis is nthn new...d ones whch i acptd quickly made me feel all lucky nd nice...bt dos whch ripped d heart left me feel alone and hurted...bt with time, all des experiences has made one thing very clear dat they are d two sides of the same coin...nd now they both feel no difrnt anymore to me...al dos has prepard me 2 face lyf as it comes...
Not that i dont react 2 stuffs...i do feel al high nd hapy wen its time 2 hav fun and i cry alot wen smthn sad hapens...bt i dont regret fr dos things dat hapen in lyf anymore....i feel dat my lyf has given and will giv me plenty to experience...
I alwas believe dat lyf dsnt alwas giv yu want yu want...instead it gives wat yu need...lik osho sd nature cares me lik it cares d trees,d animals,d birds,d sky,d ocean...it luvs me d same way it luvs thm all....it takes care f my needs lik it does fr thm...nd d othr thing is luv can b the only purpose of lyf nd thr can b no beter reason fr bein born in dis beautiful world...
And nw i am in one of dos "happy" moment of ma lyf all set to get along vt d change ma lyf is gvin me...hope il grow nd experience d maximum out of it...
A long way to go still...

Relationships

iv alwas been intrstd in studyin abt relationships...it includes all kinda relationshps...even dos whch d society feels to b "ilegal"....anyway wateve the relationshp mayb i beliv dat peopl cm into our lives fr teachin us sm "life lessons" and leav once they r done... and thn agan its r choice alwas to hav thm in our life r 2 leav thm behind...nd v stay longer with peopl who we feel comfortabl 2 b vt and leav d others behind...it depends on d degree of comfort dat v find vt people....iv had so many significant peopl in ma life befr and nw they r no more vt me...iv alwas wonderd y....at sm point in ma lyf theyv al playd sm important role....bt nw i dont even knw where those peopl r and wat they do...nd il b often thinkin y d hell did al des peopl come in ma lyf and y dd they leav...some relationshps vt sm peopl got straind due 2 many reasons ...bt there r few whch jus faded fr no reasn....nd iv alwas wonderd y....nd aftr smtim i jus say 2 myself...mayb their work in ma lyf is done nd mayb iv grown enof cos f thm and dat i shd move on vt many others who will come in ma lyf in d futur nd carry on vt d "growin" process.
Every sunday i frst open d relationshps column in d decan chronicl ...it jus atrtacts me(iv even had d idea f duin psychiatry)...d same is d case vt all other magazines too...smtims wen im too much into thinkin abt it i even start "google"ing it...after al dos researchin stuffs dat i dd,the most common thing i found in all dos columns wr that problems that most peopl face vt relationshps r d same...lyf gives d same probs 2 everbdy without any kinda partiality...bt d diff depends on the way peopl see their prob and the way they handle it...the rate at whch they start aceptin the situation...the sooner nd faster,the better...

Sleepless Nights

jus 15 more days fr our weddin...he is too busy with all d weddin preparatn stuffs nd here i am havin sleepless nights as "the day" is fast aproachin....anxious..excited..thriled 2 b with him...sometimes it makes me all happy nd excitd...smtimes it makes me feel sick as i need 2 take up new responsibilities aftr mariag...i gues im gettin over dat "reponsibility phobia"...i can feel d diffrnc...i can say im 90 % done tryin 2 overcm it.
The next big thing i had 2 face is d fear of commitment....i was free and most f d times alone bfr he came in...yea needless 2 say i am all happy aftr he came in ma lyf...bt in d frst few days ther wr times wen i realy wantd 2 b left alone...wen i wantd to b jus "Sindu" and not "Sindu Anand"....bt as days went by v startd gettin alot into each other...and all dos blues flew...he has becm a part f me...and nw i no more am Sindu...im sindu anand(always)...nd thr is no commitment bw us as v r one nd comitment can nly exist btwn 2 peopl.
Bfr Anand steped in.. i had sleepless nights thinkin hw it wud b if i had sm1 who luvd me besid wen i sleep...nd i was too busy imaginin d scenario in my head..dat my brain wont stop thinkin even if i wantd 2 sleep...
And thr wr few other nights wen i wud b thinkin... wat if i get d worst husband in d world nd hw my lyf wud b thn...and this too dint let me sleep as i was busy preparin myself for d worst in my head :P
All des thots made me wonderin who  d hell is dat person whose gona giv me either of des...
Wen im in d former mood i wud b all excitd nd eager 2 knw who he was and in d latter i hated him 2 d core nd wud constantly b thinkin hw 2 get a divorce frm him :D
And it was all over on 21st March 2011 :)
He belongd 2 d former category ;) thanks 2 ma fate :D bt ma problm dint gt over.. Instead it grew exponentialy :/
Nw im havin alot more sleepless nights than bfr :( ...
At frst v spoke fr hours tgthr  until it was almost dawn...and aftr few days ,that came under control smhw(no idea hw...it al jus hapnd :D )
And thn came his busns....it wud b midnight most days wen he comes home and thn agan v sleep  very late...
And nw as d weddin bells r ringin louder each day im all excitd and sleepless :) :) :) :) nw all dos late night talks has become like a habit...nd in sm nights its almost imposibl to sleep ,if v had 2 sleep without talkin with each other fr sometim...this is one such night :(

And nw i need to mention sm v special nights...:) <3 :) :D dos r d nights bfr d days he comes 2 visit me and d nights aftr he visits me :D its so damn imposibl 2 sleep on dos spcl nights :D :) :)