jus 15 more days fr our weddin...he is too busy with all d weddin preparatn stuffs nd here i am havin sleepless nights as "the day" is fast aproachin....anxious..excited..thriled 2 b with him...sometimes it makes me all happy nd excitd...smtimes it makes me feel sick as i need 2 take up new responsibilities aftr mariag...i gues im gettin over dat "reponsibility phobia"...i can feel d diffrnc...i can say im 90 % done tryin 2 overcm it.
The next big thing i had 2 face is d fear of commitment....i was free and most f d times alone bfr he came in...yea needless 2 say i am all happy aftr he came in ma lyf...bt in d frst few days ther wr times wen i realy wantd 2 b left alone...wen i wantd to b jus "Sindu" and not "Sindu Anand"....bt as days went by v startd gettin alot into each other...and all dos blues flew...he has becm a part f me...and nw i no more am Sindu...im sindu anand(always)...nd thr is no commitment bw us as v r one nd comitment can nly exist btwn 2 peopl.
Bfr Anand steped in.. i had sleepless nights thinkin hw it wud b if i had sm1 who luvd me besid wen i sleep...nd i was too busy imaginin d scenario in my head..dat my brain wont stop thinkin even if i wantd 2 sleep...
And thr wr few other nights wen i wud b thinkin... wat if i get d worst husband in d world nd hw my lyf wud b thn...and this too dint let me sleep as i was busy preparin myself for d worst in my head :P
All des thots made me wonderin who d hell is dat person whose gona giv me either of des...
Wen im in d former mood i wud b all excitd nd eager 2 knw who he was and in d latter i hated him 2 d core nd wud constantly b thinkin hw 2 get a divorce frm him :D
And it was all over on 21st March 2011 :)
He belongd 2 d former category ;) thanks 2 ma fate :D bt ma problm dint gt over.. Instead it grew exponentialy :/
Nw im havin alot more sleepless nights than bfr :( ...
At frst v spoke fr hours tgthr until it was almost dawn...and aftr few days ,that came under control smhw(no idea hw...it al jus hapnd :D )
And thn came his busns....it wud b midnight most days wen he comes home and thn agan v sleep very late...
And nw as d weddin bells r ringin louder each day im all excitd and sleepless :) :) :) :) nw all dos late night talks has become like a habit...nd in sm nights its almost imposibl to sleep ,if v had 2 sleep without talkin with each other fr sometim...this is one such night :(
No comments:
Post a Comment